Weekly Superstars Review: November 26, 2009

Another victory for His Awesomeness

Results:

* United States Champion The Miz d. Santino Marella by pinfall in a non-title match
- Miz wins with a Skull Crushing Finale.
Quick take: Of course Miz was gonna win!

* Ask the Divas featuring Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly, Eve, Melina, and The Bellas.
Quick take: Eeeeeeve! Beth! Melina! Where’s Maria?

* Vladimir Kozlov (with William Regal) d. Goldust by pinfall
- Kozlov wins with an Iron Curtain.
- Regal hits Goldust with a Knee Trembler after the match.
Quick take: Continuity. How often do you see that?

* Raw Rebound: Ventura mixes things up, and Sheamus becomes #1 contender.

* R-Truth d. Dolph Ziggler by pinfall
- Truth wins with a Lie Detector.
Quick take: Psh. Whatever.

Extended thoughts:

Miz v Marella
- Can’t believe this is on.
- Can’t believe I’m watching it live.
- Miz is still pretty awesome. What’s it gonna take to move him into the world title picture?
- I don’t understand Santino’s appeal.
- That “Beth Phoenix is My Dad” sign hurts my feelings.
- “Miz likes to hang around himself.” - Michael Cole. I bet he does.
- I wonder how long Superstars will be around. There can’t be too many people watching. I know no one that does.
- This is boring. I can’t take Santino as a legit threat. Ever.
- Game, set, match. ‘Tis over.

Ask the Divas
- I’m thankful for the Divas.
- Eeeeeeeeve!

Goldust v Kozlov
- Ah, selling the whole “Jackson went off the deep end” thing. Well done. Finally, some continuity.
- Goldust. Sigh. Still a shock to me that he’s gainfully employed.
- Is that Regal shirt available anywhere? I feel like it was at some point.
- Kozlov bores me. Lack of charisma shouldn’t be considered a gimmick.
- A commercial break? Really?
- Like, who cares about this stuff man? Really?
- I am not in the wrestling mood. Gotta be honest.
- Oh well. It’s over.
- No postmatch beatdown?
- Spoke too soon, huh?

Truth v Ziggler
- God, here comes the rapping. This kills me inside.
- Perfection. He has perfected the art of losing.
- Impressive showing at Survivor Series? He was the first man eliminated!
- Now we’re doing “We Will Rock You”? Truth can do it all. I am annoyed.
- Grab those ropes!
- Keep asking “What’s Up.” Doesn’t help you.
- Ziggler stealing the “What’s Up Now?” from me.
- Did he just raise the roof?
- This has been a long hour.
- I like Striker, but admittedly, he tries too hard sometimes.
- Ziggler was thrusting on that submission hold. There’s no way around it.
- I love Ziggler’s big elbow.
- The commentators are berating Ziggler for being too cocky. I wonder why.
- Homestretch time.
- Suplex stunner! I’ll give it up for that one, Truth. Ya got me there.
- X Factor!
- Scissors Kick. Game.
- Oh! Not over.
- Missed the Fame Asser. Sigh.
- The Lie Detector is such a stupid move.

Bottom line: I have to wonder why I should care. I like Dolph and Miz, but I still fail to see the point of Superstars sometimes. ECW, too. Two shows was enough, it really was. 5.25/10