Weekly ECW Review: November 10, 2009

Bob your head!
Results:
* “The Abraham Washington Show” with special guest Yoshi Tatsu.
Quick take: I’d say more, but I was busy banging my head on my desk.
* Goldust d. Paul Burchill (with Katie Lea) by pinfall
- During the match, Hurricane comes out to distract Burchill. This allows Goldust to hit the Final Cut, and beat Burchill.
Quick take: Not bad. I hope Burchill wins next week, actually. ECW needs a fresh main event heel.
* Zack Ryder is backstage. Rosa Mendes comes up. Ryder flirts with her. He then daydreams about being her boyfriend.
Quick take: I don’t know why I find these vignettes amusing. I know they’re not.
* William Regal and ECW GM Tiffany are backstage. Regal gloats about getting what he wanted without her consent.
Quick take: The cast seems to suit her.
* Vance Archer d. Jason Blackwell by pinfall
- Archer ends the squash match with a reverse DDT.
Quick take: I have no patience for squashes. They’re just a waste.
* Christian d. William Regal by pinfall to retain the ECW Championship
- Christian wins with his 2nd Killswitch of the match.
Quick take: Solid showing. Almost wish Regal had won in front of his home crowd. Almost.
Extended thoughts:
Washington
- Oh good God. A bad segment starring a guy who hasn’t been allowed to speak English yet? This has trainwreck written all over it.
- Why unleash this on the UK?
- I can’t believe they haven’t given up on this yet.
- The British have bad teeth jokes? Really? That’s nowhere near original.
- Atlas’ laugh will continue to haunt me in my sleep.
- Yoshi continues to get decent pops everywhere. I guess I just don’t get it, and I’m alone in that.
- He can speak English. Alright.
- “You’re welcome” would be the best way to make him stop saying “Thank you.” Well played.
- “Rush Hour” rip off. Fun.
- Come to think of it, Washington does kinda sound like Chris Tucker.
- Shit, I laughed. Son of a bitch.
- Thank God for abrupt endings. It’s over. It’s over.
Burchill v Goldust
- Ah, Katie. I approve.
- No hometown pop?
- How is Goldust related to Cody? Or even Dusty? I do not understand what happened.
- Who else uses their ass as a weapon like that?
- Sell it, Goldust.
- I’ve never seen Burchill get this much offense in. And not lose. There’s that.
- Burchill barely reversed that bulldog. Wasn’t even convinced he did.
- ZOMG HURRICANE.
- Of course Burchill lost. Why wouldn’t he?
Ryder and Rosa
- Wow. Rosa. Yes.
- WOO WOO WOO. You KNOW it.
- New couple? I don’t know, guys.
- Again, Ryder has some seriously tame fantasies.
- Like, I would dream about doing her. Just saying.
Regal and Tiffany
- Wow, Tiffany. Looking awesome tonight.
- The cast suits you well.
- Regal called himself a god. Almost. Cool.
Squash
- Great, a squash match. Just what I wanted.
- I love the hometown scrubs. Everyone knows they won’t win, but they cheer anyway.
- Worst cut away promo EVER. Just TERRIBLE.
- Well, that was a waste of time. Hope the main event makes up for it.
Christian v Regal
- Nice hometown pop for Regal. That’s just great.
- Soak it in, Sir William. That’s awesome.
- Crowd seems like it’s on for this one. Good.
- Boo. Not a thing happened before the first commercial break. I hate that.
- Christian still gets decent height on that baseball slide of his.
- And now Regal takes control as the crowd goes up a notch. I love it.
- I heard them communicating! “Let me up,” said Christian.
- 50/50 split at first, but the longer it goes, the more get behind ol Bill.
- Knew there’d be a second commercial break. I’ve been watching too long.
- Oof. Exploder suplex on the outside. Not a good way to land.
- I was looking forward to this, but I’m kinda bored now. I don’t have the patience for this grinding down stuff if the crowd loses interest, and they have.
- Sick half nelson suplex from Regal.
- Killswitch! But no cover. I smell a kickout.
- I reek of awesomeness.
- Crowd loved that kickout. They want Regal to win this now.
- Can’t win the belt on a countout, Regal. You know that.
- Crowd has officially turned on Christian.
- Knee trembler! Oh wait!
- Oh wow. Christian kicked out. Kinda stunned, actually.
- REGAL STRETCH!
- This. Is wrestling.
- 2nd Killswitch. That’ll do it.
- Yup.
- Good match. Good showing from both.
Bottom line: 5.75/10. The main event was good, but the rest? Not so much.